The other day, a group of my friends were talking about the worst name you could use on a dating website, as a woman looking to attract men. The first thing that popped out of their mouths, "Fat bitch".
Well, I'm a fat bitch. I'm proud to be a fat bitch.
I'm fat. I have the kind of body that, when I go to a doctor, they immediatley start looking shifty and plotting a way to get me on the scales. Even if I was weighed on my last visit just a couple of weeks or even days ago. I get on the scale, they put their number in their magical NHS computer and add my height, then we get the look of doom. Oh no, you're going to die. They look at me, wondering how to tell me. Sorry mame, it's obesity!
In fact, the scenario above has happened so often that it's stopped making me uncomfortable. I've got to the point where I just look at them like they're idiots. Well, no shit. You know, I hadn't noticed. But now, now you say it, it's so obvious! That's why I've been having trouble fitting into my size 10's lately!
I am fat.
But, you know what, I like being fat. I am fat possitive. I love my fat body, I love it exactly as much as I would love a thin body or a 'normal' body or, hell, a body twice as big as the one I've got. This fat body of mine lets me walk and run. My fat body can dance like nobody's watching. My fat body can cycle to work. My fat body can do science and part of this fat body of mine is my fat brain which I like to think is a pretty intelligent little organ. My fat body lets me hug my best friends. My fat body lets me hit things when I get angry. My fat body lets me cry at soppy movies. My fat body gives me orgasms. My fat body looks good and feels good and there's nothing wrong with it.
I'm a bitch too. I'm a bitch because I'm tired of taking shit. I'm only 23 and I've already taken so much shit that I'm past it. I'm sick of casual racism, casual sexism, casual ablism, casual transphobia, casual hatred of all kinds. I'm sick of being told it's funny and it's a joke. I'm not standing for it any more and, if you do, I'm going to call you on it. I'm going to ask why it is you think implying all homosexual men are effeminet is funny. I'm going to ask you what funny about rape or about having a non-standard body or about having skin that's not white.
Furthermore, I won't let you talk over me. If you're a man and you talk over me I'll tell you to shut the fuck up. When you tell me I can't do something because I'm a girl i'll tell you to shut the fuck up. When you try and tell me that rape scene in that manga wasn't a rape scene because the victim totally wanted it really I will tell you to SHUT THE FUCK UP. I will tell you that you are wrong and I will tell you why.
I will not accept that sometimes it's ok to spread hatred because you think it's funny, reguardless of if you're Jeremy Clarkson or my best friend.
So I'm a bitch.
And I'm fat.
I'm a fat bitch.
I'm damn proud of it, too. If that's the worst, least attractive thing you can think of for me to be then I guess I've got it made.