Tuesday, 3 February 2009

I have made a decision, I want to get fit. I'm not fit now, I pant when I walk up the stairs. This summer I'm going to an anime convention which involves camping, and will no doubt involve a lot of running around with water guns and other sillyness, and I don't want to be the person who has to go and sit out after ten minutes because they're not fit.

The problem I'm coming across is how much, in our society, we equate fit with thin.

I'm not trying to loose weight.

I mean, since I'm planning on changing my activity routine, it's only natural that my body will change too. I can already see the knowing looks from my mother. The approving nod from the doctor "Well, you still need to loose weight, but aren't you doing well". The "compliments", the comments. But I don't want any of that.

Then I'd like a support group. I'd like people I can chat to about ways to increase my activity level while having fun. Gyms are right out, to start with. I will be judged if I go and take a fitness class, not because I'm fat but because I'm "trying to get thin". They'll look at me and they won't think "Oh, she'd trying to get so she can run up the stairs at work and not loose her breath" but "Oh, good, she'd trying to loose the fat."

Well, I'm not. I am NOT trying to loose weight.

Then there's online communities, but they're all the same. I'm a stats nut so I'd love a site that let me put my fitness stats in every day and see how they change over time and chat to people about exercise and what's fun...but I can't because every site I've found that lets me do this comes coupled with weight loss. They want to know my pounds and inches and how thin I want to be and what I ate today. I can't join these sites as it's a small step from using it for the fitenss side to "I might as well put in my food too, just for me own records" to "Oh, but I already had x-calories today, I can't have that chocolate bar I'm craving" to "Oh, but I'm doing so well today, if I only skip dinner then I'll beat yesterday's score for my calories".

Aren't there any resources out there for fat-possitive girls who want to talk about dance classes and progress in feeling fitter with other people who don't give a shit about how much you weigh?

1 comment:

frau sally benz said...

I'm not sure if there are any resources, but I definitely know what you're talking about.

I don't care so much about losing weight (though I realize I will lose some once I get my act together), I just want to feel healthy again. I don't want all the pressure of OMG! MY WAIST IS THE SAME SIZE AHHHH!!!! I just want to be able to have my blood sugar, cholesterol, etc. under control and be active and fit again.

So far, I've been speaking to my sister who is currently working on developing better habits (eating better, working out to stay active not to build muscle or anything). It's been some help to have her around, but I would like other resources too. Let me know when you find them!